When Parents Are Locked Out of the Classroom, Don’t Blame Us for Everything

When Parents Are Locked Out of the Classroom, Don’t Blame Us for Everything

I watched a viral video from Principal Lamb that said teachers “shouldn’t have to fix what students didn’t do.” The message focused on students with missing assignments and parents “pointing fingers” at teachers instead of holding their children accountable.

And honestly?

This conversation needs to go deeper. Because parents are constantly being told two completely opposite things at the same time.

We are told:

“Your child’s education is your responsibility.”

But then we are also told:

“You are not allowed in the classroom.”

“You cannot observe.”

“You cannot sit in the back quietly.”

“You cannot monitor what is happening because of confidentiality policies.”

So how exactly are parents supposed to fully hold children accountable for environments we are locked out of?

Especially single parents.

Especially parents working two or three jobs.

Especially parents raising children with disabilities, trauma, depression, ADHD, PTSD, anxiety, bullying experiences, or learning struggles.

Schools have our children for six to eight hours a day. Teachers and staff see things parents do not see. They witness the classroom dynamics. They see the social isolation. They see the microaggressions. They see when a child is shutting down emotionally. They see when students are confused, overwhelmed, embarrassed, or silently struggling.

So when a child has 15 missing assignments, the conversation should not immediately become:

“The student is lazy.”

“The parent failed.”

“The teacher shouldn’t have to work harder.”

The real question should be:

Why does this child have 15 missing assignments?

Can the child even read at grade level?

Do they understand the work?

Are they being bullied?

Are they being ignored?

Are they being treated differently?

Is there racism involved?

Are there implicit biases happening?

Is the classroom environment emotionally safe?

Does the child feel hopeless?

Are they overwhelmed at home?

Do they have an undiagnosed disability?

Have they already mentally checked out because nobody listened when they asked for help?

Children rarely stop trying for “no reason.”

And yes, parents absolutely should be involved. But schools cannot demand total parental responsibility while simultaneously restricting parental access and visibility into what actually happens during the school day.

Back in the day, parents were allowed to pop into classrooms. Parents and teachers worked more closely together. There was more transparency. Today, many parents feel completely shut out until there is already a major problem.

As someone who became a substitute teacher and paraeducator, I saw things firsthand that many parents would be deeply disturbed by.

I saw belittling.

I saw sarcasm toward students.

I saw teachers trashing parents behind closed doors.

I saw students stereotyped.

I saw racial separation in subtle ways.

I saw implicit bias.

I saw educators frustrated at children for struggling instead of asking why they were struggling.

Not every teacher is like this.

There are incredible teachers who change lives every single day. Teachers who care deeply. Teachers who go above and beyond. Teachers who communicate, advocate, encourage, and inspire.

But pretending there are no bad teachers helps nobody. If you are a teacher and wnat to teach robots, go work somewhere else. This is not the job for you.

We don’t just need teachers. We need good teachers. Teachers who recognize that education is not just about handing out assignments and grading papers. It is about understanding human beings.

And yes, students need accountability too. "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it" is a well-known Bible verse found in Proverbs 22:6 (KJV/NKJV). That means realizing that they are human, have emotions, and stuff they are dealing with on a daily basis. Children must learn responsibility, discipline, effort, and consequences. Parents should absolutely reinforce education at home whenever possible.

But accountability cannot only flow one direction.

Schools must also be accountable for:

• classroom culture

• communication

• bias

• emotional safety

• academic support

• intervention

• transparency

• and the way students are treated when parents are not present

If a student is drowning academically, schools should not wait until there are 15 missing assignments before involving families in meaningful ways.

A phone call.

A text.

A progress snapshot.

A meeting.

A support plan.

An intervention.

Something.

Because education works best when schools and parents work together, not when one side blames the other while children fall through the cracks.

And parents are tired of being blamed for problems we are often intentionally excluded from seeing.

"Teachers shouldn’t have to fix what students didn’t do." Video on Facebook, posted by Principal Lamb. https://www.facebook.com/share/r/1Fxug4TjLm/